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Tuesday, 2 February 2016

Obedience


The sky woke me tonight, so sleep or rest was likened to extirpation of inadvertently composed dentistry by chainsaw.

Suddenly it was impossible, in fact unbearable to sleep. I took a moment to compose a summary for myself of how I felt at that moment and why I lay awake, but it was an unattainable thought I would never capture.

Faintly I heard the clock, ticking in perfect seconds and rhythms almost in time with my heart although not quite. The blood in my veins pulsed at a beat of excitement, not racing like the river but rather steady just the same.
I always overthink things, I always analyze and carefully anatomize each thought I have and link it directly to thoughts and actions which give it purpose.
But not tonight.

Tonight I had no reason. Just the beating…. just the time. The first clear thought, the first drop of rain from a cloudless sky.

I moved, with no effort, my motion only how it was supposed to follow, like the particles in the air were connecting the dots between me and my guitar.
I never touched the strings, not one, I swear. The song just revealed itself giving me no credit. And my lungs took breath for me to keep the time…. To hold the rhythm, at no exertion.
And at the end of it I knew it had to be done, the song had to be played.

Have you ever heard a song that you truly believe and feel with your very soul, had to exist? In this night I had no choice, I have no other way to fathom. Mozart, Beethoven, and Bach were all possessed by music.
In a more beautiful revelation than any claimed by religion to be from the gods.
It is real, by what force it is governed will never be explained or ever written tangibly.
But in our hearts, our souls our very composure it lives.
I can take no credit for my song.
The music owns me, uses me, forms my words and gives me breathe at a depth ,only the blessed husks are fortunate to expel.

And all I can do is obey.

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