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Wednesday, 30 December 2015

The Release Of Lennon (Deep Thought)

(Written JUNE 19th 2007)

Now this may only add to your strong impression that I am crazy or it may provoke thought about the world around you and how it can so easily be affected. Please take the time to read this it might change your mind.

    Yesterday as I went about my regular day after finishing up at school, As I always do, I decided to drop my book bag at my work. (pet City) Then to grab some lunch before transferring buses because there is always a 45min wait between. So I put my stuff in the back room (animal room) and journeyed downstairs to the food court to buy some lunch.
The problem with that was that once I got up to the counter and looked for my bank card I realized I had left it at home and had no money for my lunch. So back up to work I went, a little disappointed but I didn't mind so much knowing we had just gotten groceries at my house and I would be home within an hour or so.

Now I thought to myself, what will I do with all my time and no money?

I found myself venturing back to pet city to chat with my co-workers. When I got there Crystal and Holly were both busy, so I thought I would go see what animals were still out back, which ones were sick or had babies.

As I walked around greeting the rats, hamsters, mice, ferrets, guinea pigs, rabbits and various birds I noticed something. In our back room for those who have never seen, we have little room to fit a lot of stuff, among the many animals back there, we also have bugs.

There is a large cricket bin that holds approximately 1000 crickets, a 10 gal fish tank with hundreds of super worms and many small tubs filled with oatmeal/100 meal worms each.

It was strange I even noticed because of the ridiculous clutter, that one of the meal worm containers looked different. Instead of holding 100 meal worms I saw a single large black beetle on his back struggling to get up.

I couldn't help but stare, I was drawn with curiosity to pick up the container and observe this beetles struggle for survival. At first I even thought the creature may be dead and its limbs were merely twitching but upon opening the container it seemed to only awaken him to try harder.

So for 15mins I stared, thinking; “That poor beetle all he wants to do is live”, perhaps I should release him. "No" I thought to myself, if I did he would surely be stepped on in a mall and would hardly have a chance. He would be run over in the parking lot even if he did manage to escape the mall. Then I thought; “What if I fed him to another animal?” He would have been a meal for some person's lizard anyhow. But then I couldn't think of any animal in our store that would eat a full grown, hard shelled, beetle.

The more I thought about what I should do with this tiny struggling creature, the more I began to think about this beetle's fate being totally dependent upon my will. The thought crossed my mind that if man is governed by fate, then is this beetle’s struggle also dependent upon a predetermined fate as well? If there is such a figure as God and man is a reflection of him as we are told, then does God look down upon us like this poor little beetle asking himself what to do with this poor struggling human?

I ran out of thinking time because I had to get the bus, I had spent 40mins staring at an open container holding a beetle and oatmeal not knowing what to do. So it may have seemed a little weird but I asked Crystal on the way out if she thought anyone would mind me taking it with me, I knew the answer, and she looked at me weirdly and said “I don't think so”. So I put a hole for air in the container and shoved it in my purse.

On the bus I took it out again to observe the beetle's tiny legs slipping over and over on the edges of the container, causing it to fall on its back 100s of times, but it still got up.
This beetle to me, was beginning to become an inspiration for determination, reminding me of unfortunate humans and their own struggle for survival. This life in front of me was in my hands, literally in my hands. No one else at work would have given it a single thought, had I not taken this poor bug from where it was, it would have died shortly, alone, without anyone ever noticing.

Then I saw a little girl whispering to her mother, pointing at me holding the bug, scrunching up her face in disgust, as if it were me holding a pile of crap in my hand. And I felt bad for that poor child not knowing the value of nature and creatures other than herself. I hoped perhaps someday she would know.

Looking around the bus, I wondered what would any of these people do if I gave this beetle to them. How would they react? And it is hard to judge a person in any other case but I felt I could tell what would take place. Most of them were older and I could picture them either squishing it, being really freaked out, not wanting to touch or see it, or just looking at me funny. Then I thought to myself do I know any person I can think of, who would do otherwise? And no one came to mind.

Then I realized, if I am the only one who could possibly have made any difference in the life of this beetle, perhaps I was drawn to its squirming, seemingly insignificant presence, for a reason.

The Butterfly effect… The phrase refers to the idea that a butterfly's wings might create tiny changes in the atmosphere that ultimately cause a tornado to appear (or prevent a tornado from appearing). The flapping wing represents a small change in the initial condition of the system, which causes a chain of events leading to large-scale phenomena. Had the butterfly not flapped its wings, the trajectory of the system might have been vastly different.

Could my decision of this creature's fate affect the world?
A quote from John Lennon, who was also a "Beatle", then entered my complex thought;
"I'm not afraid of death because I don't believe in it. It's just getting out of one car, and into another"
Maybe the effect of this beetle having a chance against many odds, could disrupt the cycle of it’s being reincarnated. And I knew this could either be for the better or worse of mankind.

My decision was narrowed to two options as I saw it... I got off the
bus and walked slowly to my house, holding the container. Option #1 was to keep the beetle in my empty fish tank and prolong its life to my greatest ability, not letting it change or affect any part of the outside environment, merely letting it live. Option #2 was to set the beetle free in my back yard, where it could affect anything fate allowed.

Being a person deeply connected with the belief in karma and knowing I should do what I felt deep down was right, I made my decision.
I went into my house dropped my book bag went out through the side door and set the beetle free in the far side of the back yard.
As the beetle wandered into the grass and under a nearby rock I said to him;    "Be free Lennon, I made my difference, now make your own."

I don't know if the beetle will ever make it, I don't know if it died a minute after I left or that it made any difference in the change of it's environment. I do know however, that it made a difference in me. It made me pause and reflect on fate, it reminded me of how fortunate I am to have been given everything I have to make survival easy. It reminded me that maybe someone is watching, determining what to do with me next and it made me think about the difference something so small can make.

I had mercy on this small creature and I felt in turn it gave me a life lesson. I felt this lesson should be shared because as I see it, if more people understood how fortunate they were, the world would be a more positive place. And I believe it is important for us to appreciate all of the earth and its creatures because we alone do not make all the difference.

Now You might think I'm crazy, I think most people would. I do admit that I am different and I know this. You can believe what you like, it is your own opinion. But I thought I would share this story with whoever takes the time to read it. Perhaps it doesn't make any difference or maybe you are a person, who like me, is waiting for something seemingly insignificant to make a difference.

I hope you managed to read this far and something I said will change your perspective. I don't expect to make much of a difference but at least I tried and maybe you will too someday.

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